It Gets Worse
In typical Bay fashion, we’re “treated” to flustering action sequences that can only be comprehended in slow motion. A plot that seems to be paper thin and plods along at a snail’s pace and genuinely bland or unlikeable characters. While I’ve not enjoyed the over films in the series, I don’t think I’ve ever sat there “clock watching” during any of them before this. It’s not quite the longest of them, but it was an excrutiating 154 minutes long. But after the first hour I was begging for the film to end and genuinely thought it was close.
Michael Bay’s penchant for sexism is once again prevalent in the film with the female protagonist seen to alternate between the role of love interest, clichéd “bad driver”, and eye candy. Everything you would expect Bay to ask of his female leads. Racial stereotypes continued with Hot Rod’s abysmal “accent” making a mockery of the French with his forced French take on English. Of course, because it’s “funny”. It was the twins all over again.
Redeeming Qualities
At this point, I’d like to be able to say that there were some points that were good about the film. But then I’d be lying. Well, that’s not entirely true. Laura Haddock’s character, Viviane, is referred to as being the last of the Witwicky line (the descendants of Merlin). In a scene in a study in Burton’s mansion, there are photographs and paintings of members of Merlin’s descendants, all of whom have passed away. One of these is Sam Witwicky (Shia La Boeuf). At least those who hated the character in the earlier movies can take some comfort in the fact that he won’t be making a return…
Overall
Saying that this is the worst of the Transformers movies to-date is quite an achievement. As someone who holds the rest in little regard, I found this one almost completely unwatchable. Throughout the painfully-long 154 minutes I yearned to turn off the blu ray repeatedly and it was only the thought of watching Bumblebee afterwards that got me through it. Even my wife, who enjoys the BayFormers movies struggled with this one which says a lot about this film. Truthfully, given the choice I don’t think I’d ever sit down and watch this travesty of a film again.
At least we can be thankful that Paramount and Hasbro decided to give Transformers one more chance after this and gave us Bumblebee. Let’s just leave this one as the film that should be left alone and hopefully be forgotten…
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