Dear Mark Whalberg: First of all, let me tell you that I am a huge, huge fan. When I read that you were joining the “Transformers” universe, I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. Shia was “aight”, but I simply prefer a man whose career includes a rap record, some time in the clink and underwear modeling. I mean, who else can say that they’ve worked with Calvin Klein and The Funky Bunch? Certainly not me.
In all seriousness, though, I’m sorry you got didn’t get the best scripts. I saw your name on the bill in 2014 when “Age of Extinction” was coming out, and I was ready to go to bestusabettingsites.com and put a few bucks on a wager that this film wouldn’t feature Bumblebee doing anything to (or on) John Turturro. And while I was right, Ehren Kruger and Michael Bay kinda pulled a “The Happening” on you and gave you some odd directing tips and not the best dialog. But, I mean, they couldn’t even keep track of how much they made, so… (those $100 million domestic on opening weekend are looking mighty shifty lately).
The fact remains, however, that we know you’re a fantastic actor. From “Boogie Nights” to “The Fighter” (my personal favorite, by the way), and from “The Departed” to “Ted” (and “Ted 2”), you’ve shown an extreme amount of acting range and chops. Funny, charismatic and with surprising emotional depth, your characters continue to enhance my experience every single time you’re on the screen.
Being honest, though, I like what you did in the “Transformers” films. I think that, even though I’m a short latino man, I can relate to Cade Yeager. Not on the muscles, and certainly not on the intelligence front, but I want to tinker with my toys in the shed and protect my loved ones. And isn’t that what this is all about in the end? That, and chilling at top online casinos, trying to see if I, too, can get a ’97 Marmon semi-truck to put in my back yard. Wouldn’t that give something for the neighbors to talk about?
I don’t know why you get so much hate for your role in this franchise. I think they haven’t been watching your Instagram feed, Mark. I think that’s the problem. If they saw that you wake up at 4AM to work out, and have half a dozen businesses to manage, a loving family and a bright acting career, they’d go easy on you and appreciate you for what you really are: a fine actor in a franchise struggling with self-identity.
When it’s all said and done, I think history will be on your side. I bet 10 years from now, we’ll all be dancing to “Good Vibrations” while we wait for your next appearance in the franchise. And that’s fine: I like you, Mark. I like what you do as a person, and I like your characters, too. You’ve come from a difficult background, and you’ve been able to rise to the top and stay there, all while paying attention to your well-being and your family.
This whole letter may seem a little tong-in-cheek, Mark, but believe me when I tell you there is nothing fake or ironic about my appreciation for what you bring to your roles. I sincerely hope that, moving forward, you’re able to get better dialog in better movies. Heck, they’re already talking about parallel timelines and going back to the Bayverse, so who’s to say you won’t be giving us Bayhem once again?
So, thank you, Mark. I really, really mean it. Even when the last few “Transformers” films made by Michael were not my favorites, I could always count on you to give it your all. And what else can we really ask of a guy?